Saturday, May 29, 2010

It's not fair

Considering this big bad world, as I choose to call it, it's almost always not fair. After yesterday's most heartrending incident of the attack on the minority community: Ahmedis, in Lahore, we (at least the immediate folks around me) are struck with confusion, bewilderment and a strong feeling of impatience. Some are angry, some are agitated, some are sad, some are disappointed and many are just plain quiet. 

A little later after the incident, while I was reading through tweets, I came across an extremely outrageous one by one of the most eminent writers in Pakistan: 'Hairy men attack Ahmadiyya mosque in Lahore. The news gives Amir Liaqat a massive hard-on...' It totally cracked me up, although the writer's blood was evidently boiling. Clearly, he points at the man to be one of the hate-mongers and well, let me face it, the man is a total crackpot and through Geo: A Jahil Online. Hence, we allow such Jahils to be on the mainstream. 

Not that I wish to go back in Pak History, but I cannot help realizing the fact that how well the extremists have progressed. How is it that evil always tends to flourish on this large a scale? It's not fair. We would like to think that there are or there could still be good inhabitants of this world breathing somewhere somehow. But then it gets really thorny to keep this hope up. 

The current situation is pretty much like this that when there is some kind of commotion around you and you cannot take the crap anymore and you shout out loud: SHUT UP! And then suddenly there's silence! Because all you desire is peace. The question is: How do we do that? How do we make the 'shut up' to be thunderous enough that silence is promptly followed? 

The scariest question is: Is it too late? 

I fantasize. I have begun to actually. Since there is only bitter reality around, I took this path. And this fantasy leads to a Pakistan minus the terrorist/extremist/Taliban/sectarian violence issues. It's bad for my health I suppose. Which is why I tend to enjoy such tweets as above told. 

Should stop babbling now. I am actually really sad about the whole thing. And I have no doubt I will forget about this sadness after a few days. Well, not forget about it but forget feeling sad about it. All because this (bloody) life has to go on. 


Thursday, May 20, 2010

Naaa... Not much!

A few weeks ago, I had started following this (firhangi) girl’s blog whom I had conjured up to be quite interesting (both the girl and the blog). I don’t think my action should be considered predisposed if I try to elucidate the reason as to why I took the decision to stop following it. I stopped following it simply because it became a religious ‘thing’ for me and I felt a sudden pang of hatred for her. 
Now I have no concern with any or anyone’s (maybe made-up) religion. My concern lies only in what I believe is my faith; and if my faith tends to inspire someone, then Bingo. 
I saw the parallel aspects that I shared with that girl: 22-years old, freshly graduating scientist, a will to write and a will to learn more. She had interesting scientific theories that called for debate against the laws of nature and I confess that I found them intriguing, somehow. On religious grounds, she was an Atheist (an agnostic… hmm!). Therefore, I understood that that spoke pretty much about the basis of her theories and reasoning. Anyway, one good old day, I sat to read an updated post of her blog that was related to ‘Draw Mohammad Day’. She asked herself that why she would not take part in this ‘mega event’. And the answer she gave was: ‘Because I don’t want to die’. A short video was uploaded there which (I’m sorry) I couldn’t quite get right but it was something like this that there were a bunch of people from an institution watching the caricatures of Prophet Mohammad (PBUH) on PowerPoint. Then they were suddenly attacked by a bunch of angry Muslims of that institution while shouting slogans of ‘Allah-o-Akbar’. And then the security had to jump in to control the chaos. 
So, she wrote that she would have definitely taken part in this event and ‘draw Mohammad’ as much as she wants to but she is not doing so because she is afraid the Muslim (terrorists) would attack her and she is too young to die and that she looks forward to so much in her life. ‘Freedom of speech and expression’ was what she was ranting about! 
Well, I knew her being an Atheist was dissimilarity between us but here was officially the strike: I am not afraid to die at the age of 22 years or whatever years IF it’s about my ‘rights’. Addressing her I should say: ‘Miss Bitch, Hello. Obviously you are afraid to die because you would do a thing that is most certainly and absolutely NOT your right! You have no right to disrespect anyone else’s religion just because you don’t have one of your own!’
I leave this poor girl alone now in her world of ‘No God’. 
Now, I actually have no opinions about the Pakistan’s court’s order of banning Facebook or doing whatever because I am not sure if it would actually prove to be the correct action taken. I think that whatever is happening, we ourselves have a lot to blame on us. We always almost never know how to ‘take action’. Banned Facebook. Banned Youtube. Seriously? Whatever! 
However, all this keeps reminding me of a Great Personality of our Islamic History: Hazrat Imam Ali ibne Abu Talib (AS). I plan to invade my Nana Jaan’s (Grand-Dad's) library some time or probably steal a few books out of the many volumes that are present there written on Hazrat Imam Ali (AS). As of this disgusting event and the Muslim protests, I am reminded of one of Imam Ali’s sayings: ‘Zulm kerne wale se zyada barra gunah-gaar zulm sehnay wala hota hai’. [That person is a greater wrong-doer who ‘lets’ Cruelty to be inflicted upon him.] (That was the best translation I could come up with :-/ ) 
I am not going to explain how this particular saying is related to what is happening today. 
I used to guess that it’s a big bad world. Now I am sure that it’s a big bad world. 

p.s. I have this creepy feeling that will be banned too in another couple of minutes! So… Watch out!! Yikes! :s   

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

So.. I'm Perfect?

So this morning, when Dad and I were getting into the car to drop me off to work, we heard a sound from behind us that went 'Chich Chich'. Yeah, the same sound the Road-Romeos make when they see dupatta-clad embarrassing girls walking past them. We looked around to see where it came from and it was none other than my one and only Super-Mom who was standing on the terrace and hitting on my Dad. The weather was a little awesome and she was apparently in a playful mood. (not to mention struck with mid-life crisis) And so she took the opportunity to 'harass' my innocent Dad whose face most certainly lighted up and he smiled embarrassingly at her. As they both stood smiling at each other, reminiscing their younger days for a few moments (I guess), I was shit worried about the neighbors catching them and I had to say: 'Dad! Please move! and Mom! Go inside!!'. What love-birds of parents I got!

Taking the subject of harassment forward, I would first like to mention here that I have heard and read about a gazillion stories on the subject of women being harassed at offices and whatever workplace they go to. Although I am not a 'Women Rights Activist', it always does make me angry and sad. If it was a topic under discussion in a drawing-room, I would mostly stay quiet and only question: 'But why do women let it happen to themselves?' Apparently, they are under pressure, they have a family to look after and provide for, they are black-mailed, blah blah. The topic was later of no concern to me.

I have been to a few workplaces and as little time I got to spend there (as they were internships and short-term employments), I only found a bunch of confident and classy women working around me. I never heard about any such incident then. Currently employed at an NGO, I have made a friend out of my colleague. Not until a few days back, she told me what she had gone through and was going through. One of her direct colleagues, married with two kids, had been coaxing her into a relationship. I was only shocked. I thought of him as a respectable man and had never in my wildest of thoughts imagined he would do such a thing. He has left work due to personal reasons related to family and what-not. I asked my friend: 'Why were you quiet? Why didn't you take any action?' And she had not very good reasons to give me in return. So be it. If you women are weak, then you deserve to suffer. I am sorry if I am being mean.

Since I entered my mid-teens till today, I have faced criticism about my (inborn) 'Attitude'. 'Hey that little girl with an attitude? I swear she is so stuck-up!' And then my younger sister who studied with me in school and college always had such kinds of comments about me collected from her friends (from both school and college): 'Your sister has an attitude problem.' 'Your sister looks strict'. Only later, when they used to come over at our place and I served them with Lasagnias and Cold Coffees, their opinions would change: 'Your sister is such a sweetie pie!'

I never had any cat-fights though! LOL! Infact, I am grateful to God upon finding some of the most amazing people as my friends (forever). A time came when I actually got conscious about my social behavior and decided I would smile more. But I was the same. (I couldn't care less! hehehe)

After my friend/colleague's story, I am so glad I possess this attitude. It makes me unapproachable. It actually gives me the sole authority to allow people to come close to me. Makes me Perfect? :-D

The man she told me about always spoke to me consciously and in the most gentleman-like way. I never suspected any kind of informal or frank behavior from his side. (Maybe, he thought me ugly and unattractive!). I certainly did not expect him to act the way he did as reported to me by my friend. Again: Makes me Perfect? :P

Tuesday, May 11, 2010


A farewell to Class 11's on Prize Distribution Day. I collect my certificate and walk down the stairs from the stage. I am wearing my school uniform and I go where my class-mates are standing in a neat group on wooden steps. Our Music Teacher begins to play the piano as we clear our throats to sing for the leaving batch:

As you go through life you'll see
There is so much that we
Don't understand

And the only thing we know
Is things don't always go
The way we planned

But you'll see everyday
That we'll never turn away
When it seems all your dreams come undone

We will stand by your side
Filled with hope and filled with pride
We are more than we are
We are One

If there's so much I must be
Can I still just be me
The way I am?

Can I trust in my own heart
Or am I just one part
Of some big plan?

Even those who are gone
Are with us as we go on
Your journey has only begun

Tears of pain, Tears of joy
One thing nothing can destroy
Is our Pride, deep inside
We are One

We are One, You and I
We are like the Earth and Sky
One family under the Sun

All the wisdom to Lead
All the Courage that you need
You will find when you see
We are One

You will find when you see... We... Are... One!

Piano stops. Huge round of applause. I built memories.

Thursday, May 6, 2010


In one of my early semesters, I took a course for Creative Writing and thought I'd become cool. But it was pretty much a useless course. I'm still cool though. Just one interesting thing that I learnt was writing random words and things that came to your mind. It was actually an activity and as much as I don't appreciate randomness, I enjoyed it. Today, I feel very random because my brain is absolutely not working and I don't feel my green spirit at all. This is because I am sick for the past two days and have been forcing myself to work, not because I want to but I have to. Anyway, this condition has reminded me of that certain activity which is actually my very true condition at the moment. Here goes:

Farewell.script auto-saved.blogger.document1.mail.sent.notification.AJM.virtual.facebook.g-mail.indoor plants.emotional boss.miss long hair.blocked.revision.nursery rhymes.lunch-box.bundu belt and red sash.bridge.trees.swings.hall.principal.curly hair.parties.friends.glasses.sports day.sweat dude at work.very dumb.sorry.hormones.headache.nausea.workload.brownies.summer clothes.little sister.american more research or go to hell.give more references or seriously go to it live.more fun.yuck.snob big time.don't come any close for your own good.repeat.snob.big time.fellowship or scholarship.both.want more.big bad world and can't take any chances.hate feeling weak.must.shower.superman.loubly.will you stay?tomorrow will future.malaysia is nice.maldives is player.creepy world.e-mail not in saved pick up.home.mean bag.sardar sahab.ahahahahah!